Cheers, Canada. Forget ‘real’ news - about polotics, human rights, health care, child care, education, oh, I dunno, a crumbling economy, etc., etc.
What’s REALLY important is what’s been on the front page for the last week! A murdered stripper and a D-list celebrity… But not just ANY D-list celebrity… A D-list celebrety from CALGARY!!! OMGz!
Finally the CBC has taken a well deserved break from boring ‘traditional’ news stories, and instead has taken a logical segue - the criminal proceedings of a reality tv reject.
But stupid glory hog Jenkins had to ruin it for everybody and go off and die… Now what will I read about in the news? “Current events”? Pah. What a killjoy. I hope for two weeks we hear interviews of his family members and speculations about how his seeming suicide was actually a diabolical murder plot by some slightly more famous Canadian (Celine Dion, perhaps?) because he was just taking the spotlight away from the REAL headline news. Yeah, that’s right. Celin’s pregnant. Again. That’s what you miss, Canada, when you’re all wrapped up in stripper deaths.
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